Depression and Wellness:

Perhaps this is not the best place to talk about this subject. But if you cannot talk about your depression to your family who can you speak about it too?

Before I forget here is a site I would suggest reading about depression, how it affects the person and the family and yes it even includes ways to help a depressed family member.

http://www.supportpartnersprogram.com/pdf/Partner_Guide.pdf

While I feel that I must deal with my other health issues as they are important too; I cannot manage most of it very well because of the depression. As many of you know I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder in July of 2005.

I have had mild depression most of my life; it was called situational depression or clinical as they are calling it now. It started as a child; most of the time I functioned very well. But when there was a traumatic event; the depression kicked in. Not every time and not every time was bad. I think the two events that stick out the most is when my mother passed away and the divorce and a few years following the divorce. I saw a doctor at that time who listened to me and then pronounced me depressed. This was in 1981 and I was so angry when he said that. But I agreed to and followed treatment and felt better till Momma died. I did nothing then.

Well a year after my car accident; another doctor diagnosed me as depressed and then it has been a struggle ever since. A shrink said I had gone past clininal depression into Major depressive disorder.

Struggling with the establisment and social services. Struggling on a daily basis to keep my home, to take care of me, to maintain the pets, to maintain contact with family, to be able to see a doctor, to be able to pay for the medications I need, to be able to buy food, etc. It hasn't been easy. It has been unbelievable hard.

Daymark Recovery Services kicked me out of the program because I missed a few appointments because of physical pain and fatigue. I did not fight it as I did not have the energy. Even though educating them was important; making sure that having reasonable accommodations for patients with disabilities is important and critical. I am ready to do this. I am ready to get back into therapy and do what it takes to get better and stronger.

Of the things that are affecting my health negatively; depression probably should head the list. Without being in treatment for depression; I have difficulty working on the other things I need to do like:

• Stop smoking
• Eating right
• Exercise program- even starting one and maintaining it right now seems overwhelming.
• Getting out and socializing with others- I am frozen to the house. I am terrified to meeting people other than casual at the store, etc.

I realize that most of the work will be up to me. But I need help from my family. You guys have no idea how hard it is to speak of this. But even harder is to ask for help. And when I ask for help, being ignored is heart breaking and reinforces the feelings of being unworthy, I cannot do this without the emotional support of my family. And I am not the only one in the family with depression issues either.

I posted the Support Partners brochure in hopes that someone in the family would be able to be my Partner. Please read it before agreeing to it because it is time consuming and takes a committment on the Partner and the one with depression.

I agree with Beth. I need to be closer to my family. But if I don't get better with the depression I cannot accomplish so many other things I have to do. Deciding which comes first moving to Atlanta or getting help with my depression is not a which comes first the Chicken or the Egg debate. Getting treatment and support for depression has to come first.

So yes, I need a Buddy. A person willing to make this committment of time. I am also willing to Buddy someone else in the family who needs it. One of the things my therapist recognized when in cognitive behavioral therapy is one of my coping mechanisms is to real out and help others. She said if it works; go for it.

I am so sorry for bringing up an unpleasant topic. But it is a reality that I live with and I know I am not the only one in this family who deals with depression.

Love,

Nancy